


Coward

by BelenDigievolution



Series: Unovan Wanderer [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Angst, Gen, Ghetsis fight mentioned, Hospital, Isshushipping if you squint, idk what else to tag, set after bw2 but protag didnt go back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25886527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelenDigievolution/pseuds/BelenDigievolution
Summary: After yet another near-death experience, Touya decides that maybe it's time for a small call.It goes bad.
Series: Unovan Wanderer [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928698
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Coward

So here you are, in a hospital for the _third_ time now, having almost drowned in the sea and now stuck in a wheel chair has left you unusually tired and anxious. This isn't exactly new; you are always tired and anxious while travelling... But there is something about not moving, not being out there looking for him that just... _fills_ you with dread.

Now you have other people to talk to for the first time in years via social media and sure, your entire body is beaten beyond what is reasonable and still shivers from the cold of the ocean but you still can't help but feel the need to go out, to keep looking... You **have** to.

But right now it's not possible -not being able to even stand in your feet and all- and all you're left with is either creating distractions or being doomed to be alone with your mind. And the latter one has been the case for the past week especially at night, you want to go out again, you want to keep asking and to keep looking in every house in every forest in every cave in every bush, hell in a bad day you would even look under rocks.

You can't help but feel remorse; you should have made him stay (you did beg before you finally passed out) or have gone with him at the very least, you should have told mom or even Bianca and Cheren 'Hey! I am breaking out of the hospital to chase after the King of Team Plasma!' in a letter or something for them to find once you had already left, you should have told Alder that you escaped instead of saying 'The Legendary Dragon healed me' as an excuse to make him fight you in an attempt to maybe get over the nightmares about Ghetsis' fight, 'Maybe if i become the champion i will believe myself strong enough to not fear anything!' you foolishly told yourself. Didn't work.

You still can't believe Alder ate that bullshit up (a part of you still thinks he knew the whole time it was a bluff). You shouldn't have used Fusion Flare and Surf as a makeshift smoke screen thick enough to make Cheren lose you when he started chasing you in his Unfezant (You almost considered directly attacking his unfezant, while he was on it). You should't have hung up on him and Bianca when they called you asking for answers (Bianca was _bawling_ and Cheren was **livid** ). You shouldn't have left. You should go back.

But you still can't. Something just... Repels you... Memories haunt you, _**painful**_ memories. You still feel your chest hurt from time to time, energy ripping through your skin and through your lungs and through your heart. You shiver, better not think about it or you will start thinking about Ghetsis and... And...

_Sharp... Razor Teeth..._

_Red eyes... Three heads..._

You shake your head. You can't go back like this...

... But maybe you can do something else...

You pull your Xtransceiver out and check your block list. Almost every single Gym Leader, along with the Elite 4, Alder and the Juniper Professors are on the list... And at the bottom the first 3 that you added; Mom, Bianca, Cheren.

You decide to unblock Cheren.

You kinda half expected to get an inmediate call as soon as you unblocked him, he did call you several times the first few hours before you blocked him and everyone else inmediately. You're a bit surprised that the xtransceiver remained silent (Totally not dissappointed). The call button is right there, all you have to do is press it.

...

But what if he changed numbers?

What if he also blocked you?

What if he's busy?

What if he still hates you?

What if he already forgot about you?

...

You stare at the screen, at his name, at his profile picture (still the same as five years ago) and you just can't bring yourself to press call. Your finger doesn't move at all. You are not sure if calling _is_ a good idea, last time he was really **really** angry at you so much so you practically bawled after ending the call, you're about to block him again when you remember words from others, people who you have met and have been good to you, have been helping you (even when you refuse their help), who _care_ about you despite everything.

_{'... You should call her...'}_

_{'I suggest you call them soon'}_

... Maybe... Just this one call.

Deep breath, every single fiber of your body refuses to do it... But you have to try.

You press call.

It rings once.

You grow more anxious.

It rings twice.

You start to regret it, maybe it WAS a bad ide-

Cheren has picked up.

 _["TOUYA?!?!"]_ You inmediately flinch away not expecting anything near _that_ volume to come out (definitely won't press your ear against the speaker ever again). Your chest aches, your stomach falls.

 _["Is this really you?! Please answer me!!"]_ He insists and suddenly you dont know what to say. Your voice wont come out and your mouth wont move, you are barely able to stutter and mumble in response.

"... U-Uh... H-Hi Cheren-"

_["Oh my god its really you!! Where are you?! Are you okay?! Do yo need help?!"]_

There's a knot in your throat, words are really struggling to come out "Am... I-I am..." You say, but then remain silent.

Cheren doesn't take long to interrupt the silence _["Is something wrong?? Are you hurt or trapped somewhere?!! If you can turn on your location please do it! I will come get you."]_

You inmediately regret this.

" **NO**!!" You yell suddenly, terrified. Cheren stutters for a second absolutely baffled by that.

_["What do you mean 'no'?? You have been gone for ages! Stop playing dumb and tell me where you are!"]_

"No, Cheren, I am not joking or playing dumb I _really_ can't go back-"

 _["Why **NOT**?!"]_ Cheren snaps at the other side of the call _["We looked all around Unova for you! Alder contacted the other champions to keep an eye out and call us! Your mother got so desperate to locate you, to hear anything about you so much she had to reach out for the media! Bianca cried for days blaming herself! Every Gym Leader patrolled all the routes and town for days! We put flyers everywhere! All because we were looking for you!"]_

"I- Im really sorry! But I still have to find him Cheren! Please-"

_[" 'Please' WHAT?! Do you even know **what** even happened while you were gone to Arceus knows where?!"]_

A pause.

"... I... I heard... P-Plasma came back and all tha-"

_["N came back, too"]_

You freeze.

... No. That's impossible. He can't be there, he can't be back there, he can't be back home.

"He... _**what**_ "

_["I wasn't there when it happened, but he showed up to help a young trainer defeat Ghetsis"]_

There is silence.

"... When did it happen"

_["Two years after the first Plasma fiasco"]_

"... Is he still there"

_["I don't know, i could ask the trainer he helpe-"]_

The words are out before you can process them.

"If he is not there i am not going back" you say, Cheren sighs.

_["It's been years Touya, how long have you been looking? Have you at least been taking care of yourself? You can't just be chasing eachother around the world. Please come back home-"]_

"I said i **can't** , Cheren"

_["Why are you saying that?! Do you realize how much we've missed you?! How worried we have been for you?! Which reminds me- YOU FLED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND **FOUGHT** ALDER!!??? Have you healed properly?! Why did you even **do** that?! Did you casually forget you took an Arceus damned DRAGON PULSE to the chest??!?!!"]_

"I had to prove I was strong! I had to go after him!"

_["And then WHAT?! Bring him back? What if he doesn't want to come back again? Will you drag him kicking and screaming?! Last time he came here to stop Ghetsis, but now he could go and settle somewhere else now if he wants, live peacefully literally anywhere else. But YOU already have a home and a family waiting for you! Hell, what if he DOESN'T want to see you or even be NEAR you and has been avoiding you all this ti-"]_

"Cheren, **shut up**."

_["No. Touya please listen to me, just come back home for the love of Arceus, stop this foolish search! If he wants to be found he will come back and if he does not want to you **WON'T** find him ever, at all, you will keep searching in vain"]_

"Shut up! I will find him!"

_["Oh really?! You haven't had luck for years!!! Hell if you only **had** stayed in Unova you would have seen him!!"]_

"I **_SAID_** I WILL!"

**_["AND HOW MANY MORE YEARS ARE YOU GONNA WASTE LOOKING FOR HIM??! HUH?! JUST FUCKING COME BA-"]_ **

You hang up.

He calls back inmediately, tears are falling down your face and you start sobbing letting the damn thing ring.

Cheren keeps calling again and again and again and when it becomes obvious to him that you won't answer him, he starts messaging you.

"—Come back NOW—"

"—He may still be in Unova—"

"—Stop chasing smoke—"

"—Tell me where the hell are you—"

"—Please call back—"

"—Touya, _please_ —"

"—You can't keep doing this forever—"

"—You won't find him if you DIE—"

"—Please, _please just come **back**_ —"

"—Your mother misses you—"

"—Bianca misses you—"

"— _ **I**_ miss you, so so much—"

You block him again.

You turn the xtransceiver off and you even toss it across the room and you are shaking a lot, not because of the cold.

It can't be, he can't be back, he can't be avoiding you, you can still find him. You will find him. You just have to look harder. You just have to. You need to.

......

You still can't go back.

You hug your legs and you start to bawl, you cry and scream and beg to Arceus to please bring him to you, or guide you to him. Your cries echo through the room, the halls, the walls. Even the ghost pokemon outside become uneasy to your wails of heartbreak, of despair.

You can't see them.

You can't go home.

You have to find him.

...

But if he _is_ in Unova, then its useless.

You can't go back.

You're scared of the memories.

Of the pain.

You can still feel the heat, the smell of blood, the energy piercing your chest, his deranged laugh, the deafening roars ring through your ears and a sharp pain goes through your head and you want it to stop.

Please someone, anyone.

Make it stop.

But no one comes.

And a voice raises above the roars.

Aren't you the Hero of Truth chosen by Reshiram?

Aren't you the trainer that saved Unova?

Aren't you the strongest trainer of the entire region?

Aren't you the trainer who defeated Alder even when weakened?

Are you not strong?

Are you not the victor?

Are you not The Hero?

Asks your own, stupid and little pathetic voice.

... No.

You're not strong, you're not the champion, you're not the victor.

You're not a true hero.

You're an useless, god damn coward.

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a one-shot? Did this for twitter roleplay and then i thought "hey i could expand on this and post it?"
> 
> May do more of this specific verse in the future, we'll see.


End file.
